


The Office Day

by shutitloveactually



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Blow Job, Established Relationship, Hiding under a desk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:05:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutitloveactually/pseuds/shutitloveactually
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm's scheduled day of catching up with the paperwork takes an interesting turn when Jamie and Julius turn up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Office Day

Malcolm was having his weekly Office Day, where every Friday saw him barricade himself in his office to catch up on the paperwork. Sam kept him going with regular cups of coffee while skilfully deflecting anyone who came looking for him, tactfully explaining that even one man profanity machines needed some downtime every now and again. This arrangement suited everyone perfectly; Malcolm’s weekly bit of R&R ensured he wouldn’t collapse from shouting his lungs up onto the carpet and everyone else got a day’s respite from the don of the Caledonian Mafia. This did mean that for one day a week Jamie got to be in charge, which resulted in a 150% rise in Friday holiday requests.

Shirtsleeves rolled to his elbows and tie loosened, Malcolm sighed as he worked his way through an email chain he’d been BCC’d into discussing the loss of a USB drive containing some very sensitive immigration data. This would no doubt lead to him spending a fuckload of his precious time yelling at the sorry excuses of humanity DoSAC called its personnel, which he could really have done without. He ran his fingers though his hair as he considered sending someone else over to deal with them. He picked up the phone.  
Before he had the chance to dial, the office door opened and Jamie sauntered in, looking like the cat that had not only gotten the cream but the entire fuckin’ dairy. He closed the door and leaned against the bookshelf as he winked at his boss.

“Alright, Malc?”

“Fuck me, Jamie, sometimes you scare me with your pretty fuckin’ astonishin’ premonition skills.”

“About tae phone me about the DoSAC mess, aye? Don’t worry, it’s all taken care of. Ah found the USB drive in the girls’ toilets and took pleasure in dealin’ with the situation on your behalf. Robyn Nobreasts has learned her lesson, be sure o’that,” he grinned.

Malcolm rolled his eyes at his lieutenant. “What were ye doin’ in the ladies’ in the first place? Spyin’ under the doors again?”

“Naw, the men’s cubicle wis blocked,” Jamie replied, flopping down onto the couch. “Ah had a big lunch, might’ve broken the toilet eh.”

Malcolm had to smile at the admission. Jamie’s arse was the scourge of Westminster’s plumbing system and blocked toilets were a common occurrence wherever the shite infested wee bugger went. He stood up, stretched, and walked over to the couch, leaning over his pet wolf to nuzzle his dark curls.

“Well done. Knew ah kept ye around for somethin’.”

“Aw aye, Ah’m not just a pretty face eh?” Jamie replied, hand reaching out to caress Malcolm’s crotch. The older man stiffened, then relaxed as Jamie started to undo his trousers and reach inside his underwear. He moaned into Jamie’s hair as the young wolf brought out his cock, stroking it while he fumbled at his own nether regions.

Their intimate moment was interrupted by the sounds of Julius Nicholson harassing Sam to let him speak to Malcolm. The two men froze.

“Shit shit shit. Right you, under the desk,” Malcolm muttered, dragging Jamie up by his scruff. Jamie scuttled across the floor and hid under Malcolm’s desk, which thankfully sported a very solid modesty panel across the front. He would be safe under there. Malcolm jumped into his chair with his cock still hanging out just as Julius glided into the room like a stately funeral barge, followed by an apologetic Sam.

“Sorry Malcolm, I couldn’t stop him. He slipped by me as the phone rang,” she said.

“It’s alright pet, I’m sure this is very important. What can I do for you, Lord Billiard Ball?” Malcolm sighed, rolling his eyes at his PA. She giggled as she closed the door quietly behind her, wondering where Jamie was hiding.

“Don’t worry Malcolm, I’m here on PM business but you’ll no doubt be pleased to hear that this won’t take long,” Julius said, eyes lighting up at the plate of biscuits lying on the corner of Malcolm’s desk. “May I?”

Malcolm gestured irritably towards the plate. “Knock yerself out, and I really fuckin’ mean it. Right, let’s get the Guantanamo session over and done with; what’s so fuckin’ important that ye had to interrupt my Office Day?”

Julius started droning on about his latest blue sky pish. Malcolm leaned on an armrest, only half listening, wondering if the Tower of Babel had been as tall as this boring, baldy fuck’s pile of policies and the latest fairy arsed bollocks from whatever think tank he had chaired. Head cradled in one hand, he could feel himself starting to doze a little when he suddenly felt a strong hand grab his erection, which was surprisingly still there. He sneaked a peek under the desk, where Jamie’s ocean blue eyes stared up at him from the gloom. The little fuckin’ psycho had that look on his face he knew so well, a quiet look of determined mischief when he had something really naughty planned. Malcolm conveyed with an icy glare that this was not goin' to fuckin' happen, okay? Jamie had other ideas, however; he merely winked, licked his lips and crouched over Malcolm’s cock, taking it into his mouth. Malcolm, being completely unable to stop him without giving the game away, put on his best poker face and would have gotten away with it if Jamie hadn’t taken that moment to slide his tongue over the older Scot’s blood engorged head, hard.

Malcolm’s sharp intake of breath caused Julius to look up from his notes, munching delicately on a bourbon. “Everything okay, Malcolm? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he asked.

“No no, I’m fine. Just stubbed ma toe on the desk to keep myself awake,” he replied, nudging Jamie hard with his foot. Julius shrugged and resumed his infernal witterings. The younger man under the desk ignored Malcolm’s insistent request to cease and desist, choosing to carry on tormenting his boss with his tongue, teeth and mouth. Unfortunately for Malcolm, they both knew how good Jamie was at oral, the tenacious little fucker that he was. Malcolm squirmed in his seat, caught quite literally between a rock and a hard place. Rubbing a hand over his face, he summoned his not inconsiderable stamina reserves and kept his face carefully blank, muttering the occasional “No” and “Fuck off, Julius”.

It wouldn’t do to let his guard down.

Jamie, however, was enjoying himself immensely in his little cubby hole. He started humming very, very quietly as he ran his rough tongue up and down Malcolm’s shaft, knowing what the vibrations from his throat did to the older wolf. From the twitching he could tell that auld Longshanks was close to climax, which only served to delight the wee psycho. He decided to tease him for a little while longer, mouth slowly moving up and down his boss’s raging erection. This had the desired effect and Malcolm hissed again, kicking out under the desk more viciously. This time Jamie was the one who had to control himself; Malcolm had scored a direct hit on the younger man’s balls, but as Jamie had his mouth full the yell that would have shattered the window was thankfully muffled. Jamie’s muted profanities only served to drive Malcolm over the edge, however, the older man clutching at the arms of his chair as he struggled to hide a spectacular orgasm from Julius. He covered his face with his hands as he fought his primal instincts to cry out and fling his head back.

“Malcolm, I’m really concerned that you’ve not listened to a word I’ve said,” Julius chided. “Is there something wrong?”

Having finally regained control of his senses, Malcolm looked up at the hairless wonder and smiled brightly. “Sorry about that, I was just imaginin’ what you would look like with NHS glasses and a bulbous nose, Mr Fuckin’ Potato Head. Did ye actually say somethin’ of interest?” he retorted.

Julius sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and rising from his chair. “Well, I can see that this little tete-a-tete has been a complete waste of time,” he said reproachfully. “I shall leave some notes on your desk should you care to peruse them. Thank you for your time Malcolm, and thank you for the biscuits.”

“Fuck you very much for ruinin’ ma Office Day ya long fuckin’ streak of Pledge scented piss,” Malcolm growled at Julius’s retreating back. “And as for you, ya sleekit wee cunt, that was one fuckin’ mindblowin’ blow job,” he said to the grinning figure underneath the desk once the door had closed. Jamie pushed his way out, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and looking for all the world like an innocent young boy instead of a psychotic, alcohol fuelled bag of rage and ultraviolence.

“Puir Julius. D’ye think he had any idea?” Jamie asked, stretching his diminuitive form and running his hands through his hair.

“Luckily for you he was too absorbed in tellin’ me about whatever the fuck he was tellin’ me about. Here’s hopin’ he didnae actually have somethin’ worthwhile tae say for once,” Malcolm replied, readjusting his nether regions and straightening his tie. “Now if ye don’t mind I have a to-do list as long as that fuckin’ Tom Petty documentary. You comin’ round tonight?”

“Ah suppose so, if ye make it worth ma while,” Jamie replied dismissively, checking his phone.

“Oh, it will be. Now, kindly fuck off; I’ve got a country tae run.”


End file.
